Here's the deal: I'll offer you a chance to make up to 3 statements. Any one of them could be a secret you've always wanted to share with the world. The other two can be 'lies'. I'll pick one at random to print out.
This gives you plausible deniability. The secret revealed could be one of your red herrings, or the true secret. Nobody will ever know.
I won't store anything except the statement I choose for you. You (and everyone watching, I suppose) will get to watch your secret print out afterwards. They won't know who you are or who the secret belongs to.
Once you fill out your secrets (or not-secrets), you'll be redirected to the livestream of the 'secret printer'.
A secret for a secret.